The previous post & the following post are a result of dialog with a new friend who is a Christian but continues to battle with “extreme homosexual desires.”
I sincerely pray and seek GOD but I continue to have strong homosexual desires. What’s wrong with me?
“The Exchanged Life: Can I Be Gay and Christian?” – Part 2
Spending time alone with GOD is a great thing & one of the most important things we do. But we must be warned when we turn to solace with Him the Enemy will rise up as never before. This was Jesus’ experience & so we can be certain it will be ours (Matthew 4:1-11). The Enemy also knows exactly what buttons to push when he attacks us, just as he did with Jesus. We call this spiritual warfare & it is bloody, violent & vicious (2 Corinthians 10:3-5; Ephesians 6:10-18).
This is why we also, in addition to solace with GOD, need to have unworldly intimacy with others who will insist that we walk in authenticity in order that they might relate to us with authentic unconditional love (John 8:31-32; Hebrews 10:19-25); the agape type that is only possible by Holy Spirit producing it in us & through us (Galatians 5:22-23). Most Christians really do not even understand what I’m referring to because they have never been taught this radical kind of Christian faith.
It is ALWAYS wrong to repress & deny in any context whether it be in an Exodus-type ministry or in a church setting or with human counsel. Again, it is critically important to find a fellowship of believers who will insist that you walk in authenticity, truthfulness & honesty. Within this dynamic there is freedom & opportunity for Holy Spirit to do His incredible divine work (John 6:28-29; John 8:31-32).
You will experience sexual battle within your soul. This is where spiritual warfare takes places (2 Corinthians 10:3-5; Ephesians 6:10-18). The scripture does not lump soul & spirit together. These are two separate entities that make up the triune nature of every human being (body is the third entity). Our soul is made up of our mind (thinker), will (chooser) & emotions (feeler) (1 Thessalonians 5:23). This is where the enemy attacks & this is where our life-long battle takes places. Redemption is GOD’s work of maturing & healing our soul. I repeat, this is a life-long process.
We certainly are sexual beings; GOD created us that way & it is good. But in this fallen & broken world, as a result of the Fall & Original Sin, sex has become an idol that the Enemy has recognized as one of his most potential weapons. The Enemy isn’t nearly as concerned about external “sinful” behaviors as we are in the Church. The Enemy’s desire is to continually tempt us in our flesh & soul to love anything more than we love GOD Himself. This is the essence of the Fall & Original Sin. This is what makes “sinful behavior” so wicked & evil . . . it breaks GOD’s heart because we love something or someone else more than we love Him and therefore we are missing out on our ultimate purpose.
You see, we are sexual beings, but we are primarily spiritual beings. GOD created us in His own image. GOD is Spirit, therefore, we are spirit. It is only as our spirit is in perfect union or relationship with GOD as Spirit that we fulfill our ultimate purpose and that we embrace our true identity (Genesis 1:27).
As long as we identify ourselves in any other way we will never embrace our true authentic identity. It doesn’t matter what we want to call it . . . gay, fag, queer, homosexual, homosexual constitution, heterosexual, etc. As we identify in these ways we open up our soul to the enemy’s attacks & we believe His lie rather than what GOD has declared & the work He has already done through His redemptive act.
I also still struggle with same-sex attraction & at times I experience extreme lusts, but this is not who I truly am. In Christ Jesus I am not gay, a fag, a queer, a homosexual; I’m not even ex-gay. In Christ Jesus I am a son of GOD, brother to Christ Jesus, righteous, redeemed, perfect, holy, blameless, forgiven, justified, sanctified, accepted & acceptable, loved & loveable, who just happens to struggle with SSA issues. I choose to embrace who GOD says I am in Christ & I choose to enter into this warfare against the Enemy to believe.